Holiday Greetings!

Let get out of my internet character for a while and greet everyone a very merry Christmas. Always remember that it is a season of giving, not grabbing. A season of forgiveness and love. So always try to share yourself to those who are really in need.

Maligayang Pasko! Special greetings to...

- My former Weirdworks staff: Tyrone (Grott), Rex (Godfather), Jean (MeanJean), Stevey, Charley and Yagee. I miss the good old days so much!

- My former Game Master legionaires...specially to Red, Will, Sonny, Dino, and the rest of the flamers. Hwehwehwe.

- My clan in Guildwars. The geeks in PNAS, America Server and the Alliance of Pinoy Gamers. Much luck on the only game that I play now. Loyalty! Hrmph!

- My fellow bloggers everywhere! Special mension to my friends in real life: Agnes and Issa who inspired me to make a blog din. Stay happy this Christmas ayt?

- To the noble men of Pugad Lawin Philippines, specially to my chapter in Diliman. Sana di na nila ako pilitin dun sa position na National VP on Ways and Means. I don't have the time and the "rights". Alam mo na...

- To a good man who passed away this year, Sir Rico, Merry Christmas...wherever you are now.

- Bestpren Cocoy. Magpakabait ka na dude! Paksyet naman oh.

- To the people in the internet which I call as my "peers": Dan, Silver, Rich, Sven, Michael, and the staff of PWOT.

- To the new Yuppeace group. I believe we can do this, with all you help. Wishing us all the luck this coming year.

- My fellow LMW of GSP. Patay tayo! Nasa taas na tayo lahat...waaaah!

- The rest of the people in my private life. My family, close friends, the "not so close" friends and acquaintances that I cannot mention here since I don't make my life that "pubic". Sa mga mahiilig mangulit, manggamit, mga nakiki-angkas sa Patrol, mga bruha at bruho na sakit sa ulo ko. Thank for all the fun times in 2006. Alam nyo na yun. Love you all pa din.

- To my Hunny (which I will mention here) Cielle. Six years is a big number. Whoa. Wish us all the best on our future plans. Love you!

- Loyal readers and the "not so loyal" ones. Thank you for taking time to read senseless stuff. Thanks for all the boost you gave me to put this blog back up. Special thanks to you who is reading this. I'll be having a short break now...see you in 2007!

Finding the Christmas Spirit

Many people, including some of us, who has been in this kind of season for years now…have somehow (in a way) lost the Christmas spirit inside us. Maybe because Christmas truly belongs to the kiddies, and kiddies alone. Maybe because of the thought that it’s a season spending, emptying your wallet, that darn heavy traffic, those annoying beggars, trash collectors surprisingly becoming polite, and all those irritating stuff that comes along with it. Maybe some of us already converted to the Muslim faith or Iglesia ni Kristo, who really doesn’t have a Christmas spirit…not because they don’t believe in it, but because they’re just plain bastards.

I, myself, am trying very hard to find this Christmas spirit inside of me. I remember back in the day where I would spend my Christmas with orphaned kids, letting them feel that spending the eve of Christmas with them would mean that I have no family whatsoever as well. I had this huge heart for giving and sharing what I have especially for the less fortunate. But I believe this spirit slowly faded. I could blame Grand Theft Auto like most conservative American parents who find the game as a source of violence, prostitute beating, gay marriage & reckless driving. I could blame the Harry Potter books, who many people consider as a “Kiddies guide to Devil Worship”. Or I could just blame the corporate world, which is full of people who actually are wolves in sheep’s clothing, idiots in a boss’ suit, backstabbers, leeches, Tupperware smiles, and people who would just see at you as a stepping stone to their own success.

Yeah, the world can be an ugly place. Just look at MySpace.

Then it came to me as a surprise. Even though this world could be a very filthy place to live in, miracles still do happen.

As I was grimacing through the slow moving traffic in Mindanao avenue, I saw a swerving car at my rear view mirror. It was a 1993 Nissan Sentra with a shade of gray on the exterior. You would think he was rushing someone to the hospital or a person who’s about to shit himself. Whatever the reason maybe, he started honking and snaking his way through the slow moving vehicles. I then realized that he has no emergency passenger and he doesn’t look like a person suffering from diarrhea, he was just being an asshole.

Come to think of it, I (not him) should have the authority to be a jerk! I have a DOTC license and a mission order. I could even act as an avaricious male wench in the street and the MMDA traffic cops would even salute me when I say “I’m on the job” as an excuse. But I’m not acting like that at all. I am not a self-serving reprobate… I actually despise those type of people. Heh. So I immediately turned my truck sideways, blocking any available path for him. As expected, he was blasting his horn repeatedly, so I turned the volume of Bon Jovi up on my stereo (Bon Jovi? WTF?). and acted as if nothing really happened. The Nissan guy somehow twisted to the side, this time he was harassing a small Kia Pride with a frail lady driver on the helm. She panicked and moved further to the right and gave way to the jerk. The guy was now side and side of me. Actually, it doesn’t matter to me at all I’m ready to smash him with my SUV. He “manually” rolled his window down and gave a finger at me…along with a snarling face that resembles a drooling pitbull. I acted very innocent, asking him what’s with all the fuzz. He gave me one nasty curse, “manually” rolled his window up and went through his usual routine.

Man…that was one guy who doesn’t have any spirit of sharing at all! And I even went down to his level!

After feeling sorry for myself, I made a turn into Project 6 because I was planning to go to SM North that day. Yes…the most populated place of them all. But I have no choice, I was stricken with so little time on my puny hands. As I made the shortcut and went through the usual “SM City heavy traffic” going to the carpark building, I suddenly felt a weird feeling of dread. I looked around me, looks pretty normal. I then glanced at the rear view mirror…oh my, that freaking degenerate on a gray Nissan sentra is there, just a couple of cars back. I not only realized that we are both headed to the same destination, but he’s also a total idiot! There he was a while ago…swerving selfishly through traffic but totally clueless of any alternative route whatsoever. And there I was, two cars infront of him. Boy, he must be pissed! So I then released all the bad feelings inside of me and gave a nasty finger back at him. Merry Christmas you moron!

That guy quickly reacted. He immediately swerved the car on his right, trying to pry through the “bumber to bumper situation” whatever it takes. There was a loud release of horns from the back, that guy is creating quite a stir there. But as soon as I grabbed my parking ticket, that guy was surprisingly at my side already. I must have underestimated him.

For those who knew the SM North carpark, it goes up with two lanes in circular motion. I happen to be in the inner lane, so advantage is on me. But I happen to drive a huge truck (SUV) which is quite difficult to maneuver…so it’s all even. The race went on. His gleaming eyes, which I believe starts to get red, was poking through my tinted window. I could feel his rage…I think it’s the only thing he’s got inside of him. The race went through the second floor and I decided to go straight to it. As expected, the lot was full…so I squinted my eyes to the narrow road…trying to find an available spot as he was slowly gaining in on me.

I again remembered that this guy is also an idiot, so I have to bring out my final trick. It’s now or never.

As we passed through vehicles, some car alarms even went on, that’s how fast we were. A poor guy in a car cleaner outfit dives away to get cover. I stepped the gas further but my vision slowed down. Everything seems to be in a soft, slow blur. It was like in the movie “Matrix”. I was in the zone dude! Midnight Club DUB my ass! I grabbed the wheel tightly and made a sharp left turn, as if getting away from the race. The fool didn’t see it coming, so we went straight ahead then finally stepped hard on the brakes…missing the sharp left.

“Too late dude” I told myself, for I just made the last turn in that floor. While he was still dumbfounded, cars start to pile up on his back. He realized that he was already in a line going the exit booth. He went out of his vehicle, stepped on the his hood, and gave a yell of frustration. And pulled down my “power” window, smiled widely and greeted him a warm “Merry Christmas”.

Yeah, I think the spirit is coming in to me.

My Best Movie for 2006

Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow

As the year of 2006 starts to close, we had a share of fun movies, the not-so-fun, the dreadful Van Wilder 2 types and the “Please kill me now” abominations like Star Cinema’s You are the One.

Even though I’m an avid moviegoer and film buff, I only watch foreign films. Sorry, I have no remorse for the dying Philippine film industry. I really don’t give a freaking sh*t about all the local garbage they make, let them all quiver on a painful death so we could see that idiot Sam Milby work at Mcdonalds again.
You know the common schtick! When you watch a local comedy film…there would always be a group of guys finding a job, they get kicked out, there would always be a female dorm in the neighborhood, there would be always a “harana” scene, a “beach/outing” scene, female partner/s gets kidnapped in the end, they would go to the secret bodega, they would become instant action stars, police comes in the end. There you go. I just spoiled another comedy movie.Are there any good movies in the upcoming MMFF? I don’t care! It’s more of a ‘Mother Lily Monteverde Film Festival’ anyway.

Enough of that, I’m here to give to give you my choice of this year’s best film. Surely, Mary Antoinette, Pride & Prejudice and Brokeback Mountain are out, I’m not dull and I’m not queer. Theatrical films should be fun, exhilarating and should to put you on the edge of your seat (!)…not bore you to death with English accents, tedious dialogues, melodramatic monotones and 18^th century clothing. If you want that fucking type of story, read a Nicholas Sparks book!

It’s hard for me to say this, but Martin Scorsese’s “The Departed” made second place. I know, I know…it deserves to be the best movie because it’s a classy Scorsese film: everybody gets a headshot at pointblank range and dies at their own pool of blood! That’s fucking cool! You went there to see all the blood and gore while people would see you as sophisticated and intelligent for appreciating the film!

But what appeals more to me is a pirate film. Shiver me timbers! And no one could deliver that than Johnny Depp doing a Keith Richards impersonation again as Captain Jack Sparrow in their second film: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Aside from being my personal choice, it also landed as the top grossing film of 2006 with a whopping $250 million in a dreaded treasure chest hidden somewhere in Disneyland.

I don’t care what critics say. I don’t care about those faggots anyway. This is my movie of the year!

You may ask how. You see, I have a strict list of requirements for a “Movie of the Year” category: it must have a huge monster, a cool looking villain, a developing plot, and an unfulfilled ending. Pirates didn’t only comply with the requirements, it surpassed them astoundingly.



1. Huge Monster – this goes to the Kraken! A hideous beast in the heart of the wretched sea. A nightmare only heard in tavern tales and folklore. It devours on ships, islands and actors who portray Willie Wanka.

2. Davey Jones – the cool villain of the seven seas! Captain of the famous folklore ship, the Flying Dutchman. A cruel, sadistic, and hate-filled personality…sounds more like Mike Arroyo eh? But what’s more cool…this guy can play a piano with his beard! Shiaiks!

3. The plot also thickens within this second film. The first one feels like a Disney ride, puzzling. It reminds me of the Matrix Trilogy but that fell flat after giving out so many loose ends. I believe this movie is far different: It’s not directed and written by the Wachowski retards and it doesn’t have Keanu Reeves in it. Thank you God!

4. An unfulfilled ending! – Just like the Empire Strikes Back where Han Solo got frozen in carbonite, Luke just heard the black dude telling him he was his father while cutting his arm…it was then halted for future business opportunities. Many people burned a lot of movie houses because of disappointment. But we have to realize the excitement of an unfulfilled ending. Unlike premature ejaculation, this is prolonging the desire! When Geoffrey Rush stepped in, I knew this would be continued on a next chapter…because I’ve been watching the movie for more than 2 hours already! So I said “I think this is over. The scene will be cut for next year” in a very loud manner. The crowd were really pissed, but it’s true! And the truth hurts.

So there! Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest is definitely my movie of the year. It’s not perfect though. I was also wishing for Kierra Knightley to have a love scene with an octopus but it never happened.

No movie is perfect pal, no movie is perfect.

FTW! (Feed the Web!)

No relation whatsoever. They look so ghey.


As you can observe, blogging has been growing fast ever since it emerged a few years ago.

Well okay, it's an understatement.

It has literally blown out of proportion. It’s uncontrollable. It’s like Mel Gibson and Kramer both went drunk on an African-Amercian Jew gathering. To think it just started from attention-deprived kids who would make “fake suicides” just to receive pity (which mostly is fake as well) from random digital readers.

Everybody who’s been in the internet for a while had tried putting up a blog in one way or another. Letting all the lonely nerds in the world read their private lives online. But most of time those blogs fall out even before it begin. C’mon, if they’re going to set up a blog and just let it be like a forwarded email, then forget it! I have a hefty sum of useless forward emails dumped to my inbox on a daily basis, why would even bother look at their blog? Some would just honestly put it all out and present their lives infront of the computer screen. Sweet. But watching an owl laying an egg is much more interesting. Hey, I’ve watched an owl named Cindy Lauper (don’t ask) do that before, it was one of the most interesting 14 hours of my life!

But for those blogs who lasted at least a year should be worth looking at. And if you found more than a couple of blogs that you visit regularly, you should now get a site feed service!

What am I talking about? You should know this already!

My Yahoo, Rojo, Pageflakes, Bloglines…these sites would add all your favorite blogs (including Wicked Wedgie “wink wink”) so you could read them all in one place. It gathers all the feeds: RSS and xml mostly, from the desired blog and deliver it to you. Isn’t that neat? It’s a like a blog newspaper personally fitted for your own perverse liking! I have one my own for quite a few months now because I find blogs related to "nasal cow milking & Stone Cold Steve Austin" seems so interesting! So I suggest you try it by clicking the links on the sidebar at the right.

Wicked Wedgie is readily available for this service, of course. It also comes with a commitment for at least three updates a week! That is something! My girlfriend doesn’t even eat that much! So if also you want updates get directed on your email (which many describe as sending utter crap to your inbox), click the link as well. Don’t worry, I don’t send V I @ G R A spam mails.
So tune in. It’s nice to have you back again!

Asshole TV

Di ka namin tatantanan!

If you have no idea who’s that man in the picture above, let me give you a brief description:
He walks into the scene where his team have surveillanced an alleged “double dead” meat vendor. He rages in with his dark sunglasses and suit, points the finger at the store owner and demands them to surrender his “illegal” pork meat. The Filipino-Chinese owner hesitated, claiming that don’t have any warrants for searching. He yelled at him in an instant, ordering him to step out of the store and he would pummel every piece of pathetic human being that he is. Even police authorities never bug him, he had an argument with a hesitant cop so he quickly inquired about his rank. The police answered “SP02”, he immediately rebutted “SP02 ka lang pala eh, mga Kapitan at General nga pinaluluhod ko. Marami ka pang bigas na kakainin!”.

Man! This guy is a total asshole! I like it!

He is Ben Tulfo. His brothers are Mon, Raffy and Erwin…the three has been dropped with charges heavier than the complainant itself, Mike “Fat Bastard” Arroyo. His program is called Bitag. With it's main slogan "Lumulusob. Humaharap. Hindi ito drama...di tulad ng iba!". It's production value and the quality of their footages are very low, but you’re not going to watch it for cinematography purposes anyway. You’ll watch it because this damn egoistic jerk is there slapping his dangling weiner at everybody’s face. Cool!

His program tries to capture and humiliate on camera the common threats of society: abusive policemen, illegal recruiters, malicious government officials, cybersex den owners, con artists, “tupada” operators, you name every villainous scum in the streets of Manila, they have it! I mean, all this type of social trash makes this world a harder place to live in. They deserved to be mauled, yelled, and be humiliated before they end up in bars. Ben Tulfo makes sure they truly deserve it well.

He comes in, metaphorically pisses on the whole place (owning it) and yells at the accused individual. If the latter argues back, he invites him outside for a fist fight. If the victim backs out (which happens 100% of the time), he would receive a major influx of insult: “Bahag ang buntot, walang betlog, sobrang takot na naihi sa saluwal, lukoluko, ulol, tanga, gago, parang asong hinahanap ang amo, kuto na masarap tirisin, hunghang na halang ang kaluluwa” while proclaiming he’s a professional in every right. I look back at the tv screen and say to myself “Man! This guy is my idol! He is such a bad ass and everybody think it’s cool! I wanna be like that when I grow up!”. Uhmmm wait…I’m already a grown-up. Just skip the last part.

The news makes me sick

Our House of Representatives during midnight


I guess you're all tired of reading, watching and hearing the same news all over again. Sniffing a bag of vomit recently used by a kid who sits besides you on an economy class airbus is much more bearable than reading another news about our "honorable" men and women of congress. We know their motives, we know their plots, we know they're up to no good. What else is new?

Sadly, this is a time when most of us wanted to be terrorists. Just give me a chance to plant a bomb in the midst of these "respectable" people and blow them all up. At least our country could be a more pleasant place to live in. We could drive in peace without those loud sirens of police hagad, trying to swerve us because a congressman is late for dinner or her third wife would be pissed! What's more irritating are those "hagad wannabess". You know what I mean. When a congressman or an ambulance pass by, there are cars who try to be "part" of their group, "wannabees", just to get rid off the traffic jam.

Anyway, let me shift my discussion to our Archidioese's own Bishop Tobias. He's a lovable guy, with a husky old voice that I could easily mimic. Whenever I meet him he would always ask how well I am with an honest look of concern. He may not always remember my name, but somehow feel all the burdens I've been going through. He's a very pleasant guy. But on television, he's a different guy as well. I guess many are irritated by his actions, being a forefront of the church against the administration, covering up some Magdalos, tough as nails and resilient. I admit that it gives me headache whenever I see him on tv, just like last night on the Con-ass hole rally in Commonwealth. Oh well, Bishop would always be Bishop.

Hey, if you want to watch a pure "Pro-GMA" program, I mean biased to the bone, watch "Pag-usapan natin" on RJTV every 10pm. That Carmen Ignacio lady and her two unhygenic lawyers look so pathetic in defending the administration. They even praise the congressmen who wants to ammend everything in the constitution that are detrimental to their evil plans. WTF?! How much do they get anyway?! Just check it out and you'll be bashing your television in moments!