BEWARE OF TOM CRUISE (all caps)

Look at Tom Cruise. He's a lunatic.


In the upcoming movie “War of the Worlds”, the famous Hollywood actor, Tom Cruise, tries to save himself from dreaded aliens who want to destroy the world. In real life, the whole world (and maybe even the aliens) is trying to save itself from Tom Cruise.

If you happen to be an uninformed piece of idiot living under the rock with Fred Flintstone, it’s very likely that you’re unfamiliar with Tom Cruise. Well, he happens to be the most powerful Hollywood actor in the business….that alone commands a great deal of respect. Some people believes he’s perfect…very attractive, famous, wealthy, the most beautiful women in the world flock over him, but then again…nature proves that he’s not. Aside from having the difficulty to impregnate a woman, he is also a total wacko.

Wacko? Yes, a wacko. A looney, a crazy buffoon. Get it?

The lunatic streak went ablaze when he joined the religion of Scientology. It seems that Scientology needs him (or his bank account) more than he needs the religion. As you know, the religion of Scientology has been proven a fraud many times over the years, with hundreds of financial exploitation cases and mind manipulation. The people has to know that this is a financial institution, not a religion. It can officially be called a “cult”, a “cult” that believes that you should give them your money for there is a supreme being from another planet who would take us in the day of Judgement (sounds like HIS movie huh?). Scientology believes (this is true) that we posses a MASS of dead aliens (Thetans) from more than 75 million years ago, and we have to discover our inner selves to set them free (?).

Now, that is nerd stuff. Forget about Allah or Jesus, those atheists should look over this. OUR BODY CONTAINS A LARGE GROUP OF ALIEN IN CAPSULES!!! Not even a devoted Star Trek fan couldn’t think of that! So that’s why John Travolta (who’s career pummeled with the movie “Battlefield: Earth”) is a member of this cult! I just couldn’t understand why Jenna Elfman, Anne Archer, Kirstie Alley and even Nancy Cartwright (who does the voice of Bart Simpson) fall into this nerdish nonsense?

What’s next for Tom Cruise then? He found a woman 20 years younger, tries to implant aliens on her and falls in love. You could always see them making out…or “implanting the alien masses” in showbiz events, premieres etc.

Tom Cruise went on Oprah a few weeks later, jumping on the coach, acting like a 40 year old retard in front of an over-rated black woman who got kicked out of a Hermes store in Paris. Many people (including those old ladies in the audience who drives a car given to them for free) believe that Tom Cruise is not in love, he is just insane.

It seems the human host in the representation of Katie Holmes “aided” Tom Cruise to fulfill his “alienness” (if there is such a word). It seems nothing could disappoint the world’s most powerful actor now! Well, maybe a movie flop or a splash of water prank in a premiere would.

Yes, Tom Cruise lost his “happy and alienated” mood when some European pranksters splashed water on his face. He didn’t take it as a joke. He called them “jerk” so many times, more than the aliens that contained him. He did not only demanded an apology, but he wants imprisonment as well.

What happened to Tom Cruise? He now appeared in NBC’s Today Show with Matt Lauer, proclaiming again and again that Matt doesn’t know anything and lecturing him about the “evils” of psychiatry.

It seems Tom Cruise doesn’t believe in that. He even scolded the listeners, even addressing Brooke Shields and why did she took pills from her postpartum depression.

Cruise is quite demonstrative to Matt “You don't know the history of psychiatry, I do."

Cruise defended his claim that Shields was wrong to take depression pills to cure a crippling case of the baby blues after the birth of her daughter. ”The things I'm saying about Brooke is that there's misinformation, okay?" he said while lecturing Matt Lauer again, "she doesn't understand the history of psychiatry. She doesn't understand in the same way that you don't understand it, Matt." Oh my.


My dear readers, Tom is a high school dropout, he doesn’t even know chemistry…yet, he launched into a diatribe about mental illness - calling psychiatry a "pseudoscience" and anti-depressants "very dangerous." He insisted there's no such thing as a chemical imbalance and argued that mood disorders can be cured with "vitamins, exercise and various things.” (which includes alien implanting with Katie Holmes).

Hey Tom, can I also implant an alien to Katie? She’s a good brood isn’t she? By the way, don’t call Matt a glib, and don’t repeat it so many times that people would think that you’re a high school dropout. It seems that YOU need psychiatry. YOU NEED TO TAKE PILLS! Believing in aliens inside your internal organs is sick…really really SICK. You should start wearing that jacket with no holes for the hands.

Tom, you have millions of dollars in your wallet, why not spend it to cure yourself? You’re like that sick ugly guy in Vanilla Sky.

Wait…that WAS you.