1018: State of Wrestling

I must admit that I am a wrestling fan. Anyone who would look at me face to face and say that wrestling is a "fake sport", I will give him a big punch on the side of his face with both my feet stomping (to create the "thumping" noise of punches) and give him an open hand chop to the chest while I slap my own thigh to get that loud "slap" sound. Wait wait...scrap what I wrote above, I will instead give him a DDT to the floor. YES. The "Oh my GOD! That's a DDT on the CONCRETE!!!" type of DDT on the concrete floor. And to add more injury to insult, I will pick him up and slam him down the Spanish Announcer's Table. And that person will realize that wrestling is not a joke, that the fans are not stinky and obese single men, and the wrestling diva's breasts are all natural.

Upon hearing that the WWE Raw superstars was coming to Manila, I was enthusiastic. YES. I have this "Oh my God! This is impossible!!!" type of enthusiasm. The last time those muscle headed performers went to Araneta Coliseum was way back in 1993 and 1994. I happen to be one the first Filipinos who watched that event with my "also over-enthusiastic" dad who looks like a Filipino Sargeant Slaughter. The 123 Kid looks like Ian Veneracion and Yokozuna is the true FAT GOD...definitely bigger than all of our uncles combined! Try to put a yellow heart-shaped "Save Gas" sticker on his chest and you would think he's a Love Bus! He was facing Undertaker that time, and when the lights went out for his "famous entrance"...the crowd thought it was Meralco's fault again. I also remember Bret Hart facing his younger brother Owen that night in 1993. I look at Owen and thought to myself "I think this guy will die in the ring in 1999", and it did happen! Ever since then, I started to become a Feng Shui expert (pls call me at 0917-9989910).

As I said, that was about twelve years ago. Things have changed now. The company surely is bigger since it absorbed all it's competitors (WCW and ECW) and the superstars are even divided into two franchises. The Raw superstars, including John "ako'y Jologs" Cena, "Rated R Superstar" Edge, "Ako'y Abnoy" Eugene, are the priveledged few who are chosen to perform here. Upon their arrival at the airport, they are welcome by a stupid Filipino reporter who went through the security barricade and took videos like a modern day paparazzi while badmouthing every foreign security out there. It's the Filipino way of saying "Welcome to Manila assholes!".

The anticipated "friday show" finally arrived (February 24), but those freaking protesters are filling the streets early in the afternoon. Damn those Edsa Celebration cover-ups! I remember cursing them one by one, even calling Cory Aquino as a slut by supporting these morons with self serving agendas. Well, I have a freaking self-serving agenda as well! I am going to that Raw show at Araneta at 5pm whether those paid individuals are still roaming the streets or not! I even thought of myself as Steve Austin way back in 2002 when he stunned every WCW/ECW invader in the ring...I could do that to those stupid protesters as well, just to make my way to Cubao.

But thank you 1017! I made it there safely!

As expected, Filipinos are a gullible group, favoring mostly on the "in" thing, even in wrestling. I was surrounded by a crowd of brown-skinned John Cena clones. There are 40 year old men wearing Cena shirts and caps. Everywhere you go, you would always see a fat kid wearing a full John Cena gear, complete with bling blings.

You see, I was there to "BOO" the guy. As a long time fan, I know if a wrestler "sucks" in the ring and the company is just using him for the "entertainment" aspect of it. I hate that thought, wrestling should be wrestling dammit! I tried to be very mature about it, because I'm a person with great integrity. So the worse thing I did is make a kid cry by screaming "CENA SUCKS" at his face as I give him and his dad a finger.

The show was okay. I dont expect much from the wrestlers since I believe they are all pressured by this "coup attempt" thing and the fact that they really don't trust Philippine hospitals incase they get hurt badly. They don't fight much on the ringside and most of the match are easy and quick. Actually, the ringside was the same as the shows they did last '93 and '94: all empty. No Jerry Lawler or Jim Ross, no Spanish Announcers and their table that wrestlers can fall unto. Oooooh wwwweeeelll....Dark matches (that's what the industry calls it) are always like that, it's not much of the action, but the fact that you'll just pay to see them in person. Well, can't expect too much violence here, but if you really wanted such thing...just go out and punch a security guard. Expect violence.

I should give Carlito credit though. He really pissed off those gullible fans by saying that Philippine Beaches stink and women here looks like Manny Pacquiao with long hair. Nice one! Hehehe.